While a bit surreal for this Los Angeles native to write a blog about ‘summer activities’ while sitting outside in 40 degree weather (I know, I know…downright balmy for some of you), the winter months present the perfect time to start thinking about all things summer related.
Read MoreBuilding a college list can feel overwhelming. I’ve been helping teens do it for over a decade and I’ve got a few pointers that will make your life easier.
Read MoreIf you’re a senior, you’re probably stressed out. Early applications are in, and decisions are coming out right around Christmas-time (thank you, Santa). And in addition to that, you’ve still got ten more applications to finish, which you’ve only half-heartedly attempted because you’re keeping your fingers crossed that your early school will come through for you. I get it - you’re exhausted, finals are around the corner, and you just want a break.
Here are some tips to help you get through the final push:
Read MoreIt’s Sunday night and your teen is rushing to catch up on homework they put off until the last minute. They procrastinated…again. They know procrastination only increases their stress, so why do they do it? Are they lazy? Do they lack self-control? Why won’t they just do their work?
Read MoreLast month, I went to Seattle to attend the annual NACAC (National Association of College Admissions Counselors) Conference. It was great to see old friends and colleagues in person after a long hiatus. We shared a few drinks, fist bumps, hugs, and catch-ups. But the main reason I went to N
Read MoreAs teens prepare to go back to school this fall, many parents are left wondering about the long-term effects of the pandemic. Will my child be behind? Will they be able to transition back to school? Will they be able to cope with the hardship they experienced over the past year and a half? These days, it seems like there are endless reasons to worry about our loved ones, and yet, research offers us a reason for hope.
With the school year getting underway — in-person after what might have been a very long wait – our adolescents are probably more driven than ever to connect with friends in sports and clubs and just socially. That’s entirely appropriate from a developmental perspective: teen brains are “wired” for connection with peers. At the same time, while kids are taking on increasingly busy schedules and doubling down on activities, it’s essential for us parents to maintain a consistent and mostly positive presence in their lives (i.e., not just “nagging”).
For parents, sending your child off to college is an exciting time, but it’s also a waypoint on the parenting journey marked by uncertainty and mixed feelings. On one hand, the end of high school marks a symbolic end to childhood. From a developmental perspective, this is a very significant and appropriate step towards adulthood and in a way, the whole point of the raising-a-kid deal. On the other hand, you can’t help but think about the fact that they still don’t do their own laundry and require three alarm clocks to make it to school on time. So yeah, you’re worried and wonder if they are really ready.
With so much to consider, here are five tried and tested recommendations for parents navigating the college transition:
Read MoreIn the immortal words of Alice Cooper, “school's out for summer!” He did not, however, have the foresight to ask, “But what the heck should I do with my kids?” Not to worry, I have some ideas for you. Before you start booking your kids into summer school, coding camps, and academic enrichment programs, read this first. Because summer is a great opportunity for many reasons, not just to get ahead in math.
Read MoreThe short answer is, the best gift you can give yourself and your child. Okay, so I’m a little biased because I’m a teen success coach and the founder of a teen coaching company. Lol. Practically speaking though, a teen success coach is a trusted adult that helps your teenager be their best self. AKA: an adult who’s not you who your teen will listen to even though they give the same advice as you.
Read MoreWe know that social media can be problematic if we don’t help our kids become savvy consumers. At a level beyond the effects of social media on teenagers, “The Social Dilemma” is a rallying cry to sensible people who want to prevent a hyper-polarized future, in which democracies can’t address the toughest problems because citizens lack a shared understanding of what’s true. If this leaves you wondering what to do, the filmmakers created a robust set of tools and actions you can initiate: click here to find it.
In terms of what to do as a parent, here are some suggestions:
Read MoreIn its first month on Netflix earlier this fall, “The Social Dilemma” was viewed 38 million times. Learning that gave me hope, a feeling that the documentary offers sparingly. It does provide compelling information and a sense of urgency about social media and its effects on us and on the world, so watch it if you haven’t. And talk about it with your kids, too.
As a high school teacher for 16 years, I taught teens how to assess whether information they found on the Internet was authoritative. As a dean, I helped students engage with critical issues like minding their online reputation for years to come as well as respecting others.
Read MoreSo in a lot of ways, the hardships from my childhood also helped me become a resilient person. But how did I become resilient to those hardships, instead of just crumbling into pieces? It’s hard to say for sure, but some kids just start out more resilient than others. I don’t think my parents intentionally tried to create a resilient child, our life circumstances demanded it. They were small-business owners and worked all the time. I was a latch key kid from the ages of 8-18. If I forgot my key, I had to figure it out because there were no cell phones in 1987 and they sure as hell weren’t going to leave work to come get me.
But I know you’re an intentional parent because you’re reading this post. So what can you do to build the resilience in your kid that I fumbled into?
It’s hard to believe that the school has already started. For many parents, students, and teachers, it seems like it was just yesterday that we were optimistic about school opening back up in the fall. Sadly, that isn’t the case and isn’t likely to be anytime soon. So let’s check-in. How are you feeling about the start of the school year? Stressed and anxious? Or maybe you’re relieved and excited? No matter how you’re feeling, just know that you’re not alone. We are in uncharted waters and there is no playbook for how you should be feeling right now.
Read MoreLately, it seems like a day doesn’t go by where we hear news of another college going test-optional next year or new plans from the College Board to make up for lost test dates because of COVID-19. As high schools throughout the country are staying closed for the rest of the school year, Pass/Fail grades for the most critical semester on the transcript are becoming a reality. It seems like the entire admissions process is turning on its head because of COVID-19.
Read MoreParenting can be more difficult during this unprecedented time. Here’s a daily checklist to help you stay grounded:
Take care of your personal needs. Did you take a shower today? Did you exercise? Meditate? Take the dog for a walk? Make sure you take care of your own needs first whenever you can. It’s easy to jump into the role of caretaker first thing in the morning, but before you jump, take some time for yourself. Just as we’re reminded
Read MoreCritics from both inside and outside the admissions profession have long argued that the admission process is broken. Regardless of where you stand on the issue, change is coming. Long-standing debates about standardized testing, holistic admissions, endowments, equity, and more are coming to a head because of COVID-19.
For those of you with teenagers going through the process, you are probably hearing and experiencing real changes that might be worrisome. Yes, there is some uncertainty up ahead, but here are a few things you can expect.
Read MoreI can only speak for myself, but when I warned parents against independent counselors, I did it because independent college counseling can be such a predatory business. There are SO MANY consultants out there whose only qualification is that they went to an Ivy League college or have a child who attends an Ivy League college. Some have even fewer qualifications, but charge obscene amounts of money to ensure your child a spot at a “top” college. I’m sorry, but that sounds unethical and too Varsity Blues-esque for comfort.
Read MoreThanks to some Stanford undergrads, Duck Syndrome has come to mean a person (usually a young person) who is working furiously behind closed doors while maintaining a cool and calm exterior. I periodically ask the teens I coach to rate their stress levels on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 = not stressed, and 10 = stressed to the max. They'll look at me calmly, with a smile on their face and say "12".
Read MoreI often tell the teens I work with “you do you,” which for all you non-Millennials out there essentially means do what’s right for you and don’t worry about what other people are up to. This is especially true when it comes to the college process - for teens and their parents.
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