Welcome to the start of a new school year. And all the hope, excitement, stress, and worry that come with it. If the beginning of the school year brings up a mixed bag of emotions, you’re not alone. Regardless of how you’re feeling, here are some tips to help your child start (and end) the school year successfully.
Read MoreIf you are the parent of a teenager, odds are you have experienced one of the great joys of parenting - your child behaving like a total a**hole toward you. Congratulations on surviving this parental rite of passage. And as much as it stings when your kid is mean to you - their behavior has probably very little to do with you. Even so, you probably have some questions about what’s happening and how you can respond.
Read MoreIt’s a question I’m frequently asked by parents. Let’s say you’ve reached an agreement with your child that they can’t play video games on the weekend, unless they finish studying for their upcoming midterms and do all of their chores. A perfectly reasonable trade. You allow time during the week to elapse, hoping to see some movement on their end, but alas the days and hours pass, and your child has done nary a thing. Now what? Do you remind them? Threaten them? Take away stuff? Eventually the deadline passes, your child has forgotten to do anything, and you, in your understandable frustration, enact a consequence. No video games for two weeks. Totally fair. Lo and behold, under the weight of threat and suspended privileges, the next two weeks unfold swimmingly, with your child following through on all the agreements. Finally, praise all that is holy, you believe that maybe, just maybe this time they get it now.
Read MoreIt’s never easy to watch a child struggle: our instinct is to protect them from pain and solve the problem. But if our ultimate goal is to help them become resilient and capable adults, the trick for parents is to find opportunities for them to learn life skills and grow from sometimes difficult experiences.
Read MoreIt’s Sunday night and your teen is rushing to catch up on homework they put off until the last minute. They procrastinated…again. They know procrastination only increases their stress, so why do they do it? Are they lazy? Do they lack self-control? Why won’t they just do their work?
Read MoreAs teens prepare to go back to school this fall, many parents are left wondering about the long-term effects of the pandemic. Will my child be behind? Will they be able to transition back to school? Will they be able to cope with the hardship they experienced over the past year and a half? These days, it seems like there are endless reasons to worry about our loved ones, and yet, research offers us a reason for hope.
With the school year getting underway — in-person after what might have been a very long wait – our adolescents are probably more driven than ever to connect with friends in sports and clubs and just socially. That’s entirely appropriate from a developmental perspective: teen brains are “wired” for connection with peers. At the same time, while kids are taking on increasingly busy schedules and doubling down on activities, it’s essential for us parents to maintain a consistent and mostly positive presence in their lives (i.e., not just “nagging”).
Lately, it seems like a day doesn’t go by where we hear news of another college going test-optional next year or new plans from the College Board to make up for lost test dates because of COVID-19. As high schools throughout the country are staying closed for the rest of the school year, Pass/Fail grades for the most critical semester on the transcript are becoming a reality. It seems like the entire admissions process is turning on its head because of COVID-19.
Read MoreParenting can be more difficult during this unprecedented time. Here’s a daily checklist to help you stay grounded:
Take care of your personal needs. Did you take a shower today? Did you exercise? Meditate? Take the dog for a walk? Make sure you take care of your own needs first whenever you can. It’s easy to jump into the role of caretaker first thing in the morning, but before you jump, take some time for yourself. Just as we’re reminded
Read MoreI can only speak for myself, but when I warned parents against independent counselors, I did it because independent college counseling can be such a predatory business. There are SO MANY consultants out there whose only qualification is that they went to an Ivy League college or have a child who attends an Ivy League college. Some have even fewer qualifications, but charge obscene amounts of money to ensure your child a spot at a “top” college. I’m sorry, but that sounds unethical and too Varsity Blues-esque for comfort.
Read MoreThanks to some Stanford undergrads, Duck Syndrome has come to mean a person (usually a young person) who is working furiously behind closed doors while maintaining a cool and calm exterior. I periodically ask the teens I coach to rate their stress levels on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 = not stressed, and 10 = stressed to the max. They'll look at me calmly, with a smile on their face and say "12".
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