How to Help Your Teen Succeed This School Year
Welcome to the start of a new school year. And all the hope, excitement, stress, and worry that come with it. If the beginning of the school year brings up a mixed bag of emotions, you’re not alone. Regardless of how you’re feeling, here are some tips to help your child start (and end) the school year successfully.
The start of the school year is a great time to reiterate expectations and values. For example, saying something like, “Your health and well-being are more important to us than anything else. Please talk to us if you feel overwhelmed, and let us know how we can support you.” Or plan weekends when your family spends time outdoors or volunteering.
I know I sound like a broken record, but one of the best things you can do to help your teen have a successful year is to demand that they get at least 8 hours of sleep a night. And while I know this isn’t always possible because life (sports, plays, APs, and friends) can get in the way, you can be upfront about your expectations around sleep. If you notice that your child is consistently pulling late/all-nighters, it’s time to bring down the hammer. It means they’re oversubscribed and need your help taking something off their plate. Also, don’t buy into the narrative that ‘no one in my grade is sleeping by 11 pm’. It’s not true.
Along those same lines, it’s a great time to set new expectations around device use. It’s never too late to take your child’s phone away at night. As a matter of fact, we HIGHLY encourage it and find that teens who don’t have their phones during sleeping hours actually end up appreciating the nightly ritual. The beginning of the school year is a great way to say, “Hey, I’d like to try an experiment for a month this school year. How about we all put our devices away starting at 10 pm every night?” Or “Homework took you a really long time last year. Let’s try it without your phone this year and see if it helps.”
Speaking of homework, if last year’s setup didn’t work, consider switching things up. While I’m usually a fan of students working in a common space. Sometimes that doesn’t work because it’s too distracting. Talk to your child about what is getting in the way of their productivity. Is it the space? Is it because they don’t understand how to do the homework? Is it because they’re bored? Having a frank conversation now can help you address the root of the problem early.
Talk about grades. What are your expectations? What type of teacher comments have made you really proud? Which ones were concerning? At Village, we like to emphasize effort over smarts/intelligence and deemphasize achievement. So instead of saying, “You got an A! You’re a math wiz.” We say, “I’m so proud of how hard you studied for that quiz.” It’s also a good time to talk about gaps you noticed last year and get supports in place early on. Utilize your school’s resources first and ask for referrals if your needs are beyond what your school can provide.
Perhaps the hardest of all is managing your anxieties about your child’s success. We all know the road to success is paved with failures and missteps. Let your kid falter occasionally, then help them figure out how to right the ship. And if you need extra support or expertise, Village is always here to help.