Am I Spoiling My Kid?

When I worked at a fancy prep school in Silicon Valley, I met many a spoiled child, one that got almost every single one of their material needs met. Unlimited tab at the local country club? Check. A shiny new Tesla when they turned 16? Check. A different pair of Lululemon leggings for every day of the week? Check. One girl even showed up in my office on her 18th birthday in her brand-new Louboutin knee-high boots. The interesting thing was that most of these kids were incredibly nice and not at all what you think of when you hear ‘spoiled.’ I had a much bigger problem with the entitled kids. Spoiled kids can be entitled. But not all entitled kids are spoiled. 

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Cathy ChenComment
What’s Up With the UCs?

The scuttlebutt, especially here in California, home of the UC system, is that it is nearly impossible to get in. Stories about the straight-A honors student with 10 APs, Captain of the baseball team, President of the Mathletes, and founder of a startup who got rejected from every campus abound. Which begs the question, what is up with the UCs?

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How to Write a Powerful Personal Statement

I often see students who feel a lot of pressure about their college essays. Do they need to talk about curing cancer? Or being honored by their head of state? The good news is, no. Normal people can write great essays. Here are some helpful tips for writing college essays.

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How to Help Your Teen Succeed This School Year

Welcome to the start of a new school year. And all the hope, excitement, stress, and worry that come with it. If the beginning of the school year brings up a mixed bag of emotions, you’re not alone. Regardless of how you’re feeling, here are some tips to help your child start (and end) the school year successfully. 

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The End of Affirmative Action and What It Means For You

You’ve probably heard by now that the Supreme Court struck down affirmative action last week in their rulings on the Harvard and UNC admissions cases. Regardless of where you stand on the issue, you might be wondering what colleges will do in a race-neutral admissions process and how it will impact you. Even though the rulings were just formally announced, the admissions world has anticipated this outcome for over a year. 

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Can ChatGPT Help You Write Your College Essays?

I’ve been holding back on writing this blog post on the role of Open AI and ChatGPT in college admissions because I wanted to see for myself what the buzz is all about. Let’s be clear, I am in no way an expert on AI or technology. I am a mere mortal with the technical expertise appropriate for someone who attended college in the 90s. Even so, I’ve read and heard enough to know that ChatGPT is a powerful tool that is only going to become more powerful with time.

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Cathy ChenComment
Why Is My Teen Mean to Me?

If you are the parent of a teenager, odds are you have experienced one of the great joys of parenting - your child behaving like a total a**hole toward you. Congratulations on surviving this parental rite of passage. And as much as it stings when your kid is mean to you - their behavior has probably very little to do with you. Even so, you probably have some questions about what’s happening and how you can respond. 

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parentingCathy ChenComment
Why is my child not motivated?

It’s a question I’m frequently asked by parents. Let’s say you’ve reached an agreement with your child that they can’t play video games on the weekend, unless they finish studying for their upcoming midterms and do all of their chores.  A perfectly reasonable trade.  You allow time during the week to elapse, hoping to see some movement on their end, but alas the days and hours pass, and your child has done nary a thing.  Now what?  Do you remind them?  Threaten them? Take away stuff? Eventually the deadline passes, your child has forgotten to do anything, and you, in your understandable frustration, enact a consequence.  No video games for two weeks.  Totally fair.  Lo and behold, under the weight of threat and suspended privileges, the next two weeks unfold swimmingly, with your child following through on all the agreements.  Finally, praise all that is holy, you believe that maybe, just maybe this time they get it now.

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How to Help Your Stressed Out Teen

It’s never easy to watch a child struggle: our instinct is to protect them from pain and solve the problem. But if our ultimate goal is to help them become resilient and capable adults, the trick for parents is to find opportunities for them to learn life skills and grow from sometimes difficult experiences.

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Finding the Right Mental Health Care Provider for Your Child

Looking for mental health support for your child can feel like alphabet soup. PhD, LICSW, LMFT, oh my! Don’t worry if you’re feeling confused as to what these options mean - we’ll help you sort out the differences between mental health providers and how to determine what your family needs.

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wellnessGuest UserComment
What We Learned at This Year’s National Conference for Admissions Professionals

I, along with fellow Village coaches Meredith and Suzi, just got back from the annual NACAC (National Association of College Admissions Counselors) conference last week. Thousands of admissions officers, high school counselors, and independent counselors from all over the world converged at the George R. Brown Convention Center in Houston, Texas.

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Is Depression Contagious?

During this age of COVID, we have all become acutely aware of how viruses spread. In my years as a school counselor, I’ve fielded the worry from many parents about whether mental health concerns like depression might be contagious, just like a virus.

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wellnessGuest UserComment
Want to Save Money on College? Here’s a (Somewhat) Radical Idea

One of the perks of working in the college counseling biz is that we counselors get to go on college trips sponsored by the colleges. I just got back from one of those trips to Ireland, of all places - thank you, Education in Ireland, for sponsoring me. And boy, am I glad I went. Aside from the fish and chips and Guinness, there are a lot of things to love about Ireland. Attending college there is definitely one of them. Here’s why:

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Cathy Chen
Tips For Having Difficult (But Important) Conversations

Is it just us, or does it feel like our world is insane these days?

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Cathy Chen
Mental Health Red Flags - What to Watch For?

Safeguarding our teen’s mental health is an important role that parents are tasked with, but it can be complicated to navigate. Knowing what to look out for and how to support your teen during these sensitive life periods is critical.

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Meredith Herrera
How to Manage Admission Decisions

For many teens, this decision confirms that they’re worthy and determines their future. As adults, we know that a person’s college does not determine their value or success. We’ve seen enough life to know that.

So what can we do to support our teens as decisions come out?

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Cathy Chen
Summer Planning: Your Questions Answered & Myths Busted

While a bit surreal for this Los Angeles native to write a blog about ‘summer activities’ while sitting outside in 40 degree weather (I know, I know…downright balmy for some of you), the winter months present the perfect time to start thinking about all things summer related.

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collegeMeredith Herrera
Listomania: How to Build the Perfect College List

Building a college list can feel overwhelming. I’ve been helping teens do it for over a decade and I’ve got a few pointers that will make your life easier.

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collegeCathy ChenComment
Winter Break is Coming - Tips to Get Seniors Across the College Application Finish Line

If you’re a senior, you’re probably stressed out. Early applications are in, and decisions are coming out right around Christmas-time (thank you, Santa). And in addition to that, you’ve still got ten more applications to finish, which you’ve only half-heartedly attempted because you’re keeping your fingers crossed that your early school will come through for you. I get it - you’re exhausted, finals are around the corner, and you just want a break.

Here are some tips to help you get through the final push:

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Cathy Chen
Why Your Teen Procrastinates - It's Not Because They're Lazy

It’s Sunday night and your teen is rushing to catch up on homework they put off until the last minute. They procrastinated…again. They know procrastination only increases their stress, so why do they do it? Are they lazy? Do they lack self-control? Why won’t they just do their work?

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